Conversations with my Other Self
by Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
Summary: Toko Fukawa has some issues with herself… and her other self./ Prompt: Toko and Syo have a talk and they just figure each other out


**Prompt:** Toko and Syo have a talk and they just figure each other out

~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~

 _Toko Fukawa has some issues with herself… and her other self._

She wakes up in an empty space. She doesn't remember what happened before or why she was unconscious in the first place. No matter how hard she tries to pull out the memory, it always seem to slip right through her fingers probably gone forever. Or maybe it was never there. Everything is all too hazy for her to comprehend anything. Her memory is hazy, mind is hazy, even her vision is hazy. Her eyesight is as blurred as her memories, she see enough to tell the outline but even those edges are obscured. She's not even sure if the huge black splotch she's seeing right now is a silhouette of something or if it's just another blotch born from her poor eyesight.

"Wakey wakey, sleeping not-so-beauty!" The blotch shrills as it moves erratically.

There's a sharp ringing in her ears and as it subsides, her vision clears. The sight that greets her is smiling and she returns the gesture with a seething scowl. "Oh, great. It's _you._ "

"Yessiree it's me, the one and only." The other person twirls lithely and brandishes her sets of scissors as she shows them off. "The number one serial killer who's as hot as the hotties she slays! Genocider Syo good to see ya! Kyeehahahaha!" She cackles madly at the top of her lungs.

The experience is surreal. It's like she's staring at a mirror except the reflection is a twisted version of herself. And of course, the annoying reflection had to have the ability to talk as well. Lovely.

Toko groans out frustratingly as her hands pull at her hair like she usually does whenever anything overwhelms her. "If there is a g-god, which I know there _isn't_ , but just in case there is then for once just hear me out instead of _ignoring me_ like you usually do. I'm not even asking for t-too much! Just wake me up or change this scenario or w-whatever. Anything will work. Anything but _this._ " She prattles on demandingly. "I'd rather have the usual nightmare. _Please_."

"Rude! I'm right here ya know!" Syo shrieks indignantly. "And who says this is a dream in the first place?"

Toko drops her hands only to look at her scathingy. "Seriously? For a serial killer who's sharing my body I thought you'd be s-smarter than this." She shakily points at her as she spits word after word in unchecked rage. "W-we're not supposed to be talking to each other face to face. We _can't._ DID doesn't work that way. That's j-just some misleading _crap_ that uninformed delusionals keep feeding the ignorant masses. A shallow _gimmick_ that cheap media produces. Y-you imbecile!"

"Well _sorry_ for being so uninformed!" She waves off her insult, not taking any damage at all. "Fake or not, won't change the fact that I'm having such a _riot_ seeing your ugly face!"

" _E-excuse me_?" She jumps at the remark but quickly recovers with a scowl and yells at Syo indignantly, "It's your face too!"

"I knoooow! Isn't that hilarious?" She laughs madly at her own brilliant humor. "But with my unique eye color and signature tongue, that puts me a tier above you. You're ugly but I'm just way below average. There's a fundamental difference."

"No, there isn't, how s-stupid can you get!" She yelled sharply, reprimanding. She looks like she's about to say more but chooses against it. She doesn't have the energy to deal with this and so she gives up. A long defeated sigh escapes her lips. "You know what? Nevermind. I don't even c-care anymore. Since the forces that be aren't listening to my prayers, no surprise there, then I'll j-just have to wait it out, pretend it's not there and hopefully it'll be over soon enough." Then she mutters lowly to herself. "Like how I d-deal with all my other problems."

If this is a dream, or nightmare to be more accurate, then she'll have to wake up eventually. But until then, she has no obligation to entertain this unwarranted hallucination.

Toko spitefully stares down at her. " _You_." She spits with venom, a bitter aftertaste on her lips. "S-stay as far as you can. And don't talk to me!"

"And here I was being friendly. Tough crowd tonight." Syo just crosses her arms and prattles on lightheartedly. "I don't know why you hate this so much when people are literally dying to have an exclusive interview with me."

She covers her ears tightly, effectively blocking her out. "Not listening. Not caring. This isn't even happening."

"What's got your panties twisted in a bunch?" Syo takes it all in stride, not the least bit affected. If anything she just makes herself louder. "I'm getting the feeling that I'm hated."

That causes her to drop her hands and hold her gaze. Her whole frame is shaking with barely contained rage. Toko's eyes have never looked so alive but only because they are now filled with unbridled resentment. "Do you even hear yourself?" She doesn't even stutter this time. She's fuelled by scorn alone and all her words come out smooth, calm, and filled with murderous intent.

And just like any calm, the storm follows. She furiously yells, "Of course, I hate you! You ruined my life!"

There's a lag time before Syo reacts, it's only just a moment, but it's enough to tell that Toko's outburst had some effect on her.

This time it's Syo who's scowling. "Hey! Your life was already shit when I came to." She said crossly. Her voice is loud yet not shouting but there's an impressive force behind them. "If anything, _I'm_ the one who got the shorter end of the stick. Not only is the original such a lame ass but her life's a fucking mess too." She scornfully looks down at Toko. "And _I_ have to deal with all that shit the moment I was born. If ya wanna see real unfair then you're looking at it." She spits.

No matter how much Toko hated Syo, it wouldn't deny the fact that everything Syo said is true. She hated her even more for being correct. Even if Toko was a victim, so was Syo. They were sharing this body. That meant that Toko has to deal with Syo's problems and the opposite applies as well. Sometimes, their circumstances just overlap. It's unavoidable. They didn't choose each other, it just happened.

And Syo is right. Toko's life was already miserable even before the split happened. That didn't mean that she wasn't mad about it.

"Don't you think I already know that? You don't have to tell me how messed up my life is because I know. I _lived_ it. My life hasn't been the greatest either since I was born." Toko clenches her fists, as tight as how her heart feels right now, and her nails dig in hard enough to almost break skin. "But then you came along and just made things worse!"

"Oh, darling. You don't know what you're talking about." Syo just looks at her sympathetically. "I'm probably the least of your problems."

"What do you mean by that?" She asks skeptically.

"With all things considered, I'm your only ally." She says matter-of-factly. "Who do you think stuck with your ass for god knows how many years?"

"But that's only because you had no choice! We're sharing this body so of course you'll side with me."

"Hun, I'm a serial killer on the loose. Half of the cops think I have a dick and the other half think I'm supernatural. They can't even make a profile for me. As you can tell, I'm quite elusive with my methods." She brightly smiles, her tongue dangling precariously. She says her next line lightly, like how she says all her death threats. "Do you think I've never thought about a way to kill ya off?"

Toko blanches and breaks into a cold sweat. "W-what?"

"That's right, darling. I have plans of off-ing you. Lots of 'em, in fact. I'm just brimming with them possibilities!"

"You don't even know if they'll w-work."

"Who says I'm gonna use them all? I just need one to work. And oh, what's this? I already have that special one. KYEHAHAHA!" Syo laughs boisterously.

"Y-you're bluffing!" Toko's stuttering betrays her fears.

"Madam, I may be a killer but I ain't no liar." Syo says so politely. "So when I say I figured out a way to off ya without me dropping off the face of the planet then I'm not saying otherwise. Get it across your thick skull. I can kill ya!"

"T-that can't be." She pales further.

"If I wanted to, I could make sure that the next time we switch will be our last. I mean, maybe I should." She dangerously narrows her eyes. Her voice is still sickeningly sweet, perhaps trying too hard to cover her contempt with her honeyed tone. "After all, that's what you've been doing, right? You never let me out to play anymore and you're pretty determined to keep it that way." She steeples her fingers and rests her chin on top of them then flashes her a condescending smile. "If you knew a way then you wouldn't think twice about never letting me see my daylight ever again."

By now Toko is trembling with fear but she powers through it the only way she knows how- by being angry and defensive. It's how she's survived all threats so far. "Of c-course. You said it yourself. You're a serial k-killer. Who in their right mind would let you loose?! Someone's got to stop you and who else could do that but me? I'm the only who can actually stop you and prevent your murdering spree."

"Let's be honest, hun. You're not doing this to protect the people. You couldn't care less about them fools." She sighs uninterestedly. "The only reason you're keeping me inside is for your own selfish reasons. You're just protecting yourself."

Something within Toko snaps.

And she starts yelling with all the pent up rage and loathing she has for the world, the same world that persecutes her, the same world where everyone hates her, and the very same world where she is victimized but nobody helps her. She's selfish? Then what about all those people who bullied her? At least she has good reason since she's trying to keep a serial killer on a leash but what's their excuse? Getting rid of trash like her? She may be selfish but those people were just horrible. And why does Syo say it like it's a bad thing? She's right. She's being selfish to protect herself. If she's going to survive in this world then it's going to be through that selfishness.

"Of course, I'm just protecting myself. That's because _I_ have to protect myself! Who else is going to look out for me? Not my parents, not my non-existent friends, and not _anyone_ else." Her throat hurts because it hardly gets used like this but she doesn't care. She continues to shout and hate with all her strength. "So yeah, I'm selfish but guess what? You don't get a say in this. So deal with it."

Syo just sighs a long sigh and speaks casually, "Okay, real talk? You and me aren't so different."

"Ha! That has to be your worst joke yet." She laughs shortly, mockingly.

"I'll have you know that I laugh at my own jokes. Do tell me if I'm laughing right now." She just rolls her eyes at her. "Hun, we're on both ends of the spectrum no questions asked. You're the last thing I'd want to be associated with."

"The feeling is mutual." She mutters offhandedly.

"But if there's one thing we have in common, voluptuous body aside, then it's that…" The oddest thing happens because Syo mellows down. Her posture is straight as ever and her eyes are not sparkling with humor. She's serious and her gaze is focused on Toko's. And when she speaks, she sounds all too sincere that she might have been a different person entirely. There is an understanding in her tone and it is haunting. "I'm trying to protect you too, you know."

There is a tense silence that falls between them.

When Toko finally recovers from her shock, she is in disbelief. "What did you just say?"

However, the surreal moment is over and Syo just reverts to her usual obnoxious self in an instant. "But only sometimes! Like 20% of the time. The rest I just really kill because they're hot."

But it's too late for Toko because the seeds have already been planted. She starts to remember memories she's buried deep in the recess of her mind. The floodgates of repressed memories have been opened and they come into the light one after another. Even her earliest traumas are at the forefront of the waves of horrible memories that are swamping over her. And Toko does not only see just the memories but the connections they have as well as their connection with Syo.

"Remember e-elementary? The boy who got my love letter and trampled on it? Was that part of the 20%?

"Check, check, and what the heck. You figure out that last one."

"Eighth grade. The boy who ditched me on a date out of a bet. Which percentage does he fall?"

"Who knows? A lady has to have mystery."

A pattern emerges much to Toko's horror and she does not like it one bit..

She scowls and speaks through gritted teeth, "I never asked you to kill my bullies."

"Need you ask?" Syo lazily places a hand on her hip and stares back evenly. "Just because we don't share memories doesn't mean we don't share feelings."

That's another weird thing about this split personality. They don't share memories but strangely enough they share feelings to a certain extent. Whenever Toko comes to after a switch, she knows what Syo's current emotion is even without context. And this connection exists in general, even when it comes to love and such. They still share these lingering feelings until there.

"We have the same tastes in men just that we also have creative ways of showing them. You like pinning hopelessly over the boys you like while I like stabbing them." She snips the air with her genoscissors for emphasis with a crazed look in her eyes. "Just so happens that the guys you like not only have dicks but also take it to the next level and act like dicks." She shrugs nonchalantly. "But since you like them then I automatically like them too and well you know the rest~"

"But what about what you said earlier?"

"Hm? What did I say?"

"You said that-" _You're trying to protect me too._ But even Toko knows how useless it is to talk this out with a serial killer. She doesn't even know why she bothers. She just got swept up in the moment, that's all. She doesn't need to dig any deeper than this nor does she want to. "You know what? Nevermind. Forget I asked."

There may be some truth to what Syo said. About her trying to protect Toko.

It's a longshot and she can never tell without a shadow of a doubt that Syo did those things in retaliation for Toko but the connection is strong enough for her to at least believe in the possibility. Then again, there's the other glaring possibility that it's all just a coincidence. After all, even Syo herself admits that she doesn't kill with any larger meaning than having to stab the things she loves. But the small hope that there is some meaning, even just 20% of the time, puts out a slightly different perspective of Toko on Syo.

"Just so you know. This changes nothing. I still _hate_ you."

"Everyone hates me. It's part of my selling point. Right next to my _killer_ looks and pleasing personality. And the haters gonna hate hate hate!"

"Ugh! It's hard to take you seriously when you're obviously not." Toko yells out in frustration and then bites down on her nail. She doesn't want to say this but just so they're even, she has to. So reluctantly, in the smallest voice she has, she mutters to herself, "But... you're not as annoying as I thought you were. You're more tolerable I guess but only just a fraction..."

"What's that? Speak up, dearie. Couldn't hear you over my loud presence!"

"Oh, hell no. I am _not_ going to say that again!"

"No encore performance for me? Such lousy service!"

"Sh-shut up! This isn't just some act for your entertainment only!"

"Well duh 'course not. Because this show _sucks_!" She cackles madly. "You know, there's a thing called speaking up. Why don't you try that next time?"

"Are you mocking me?!" She halts and her eyes widen. "Wait. Did you just say next time?"

All of a sudden, there's a dull ringing in her ears and it impairs her hearing. She can see Syo's mouth move fast, probably saying some nonsense again, but she does not hear a sound. Her vision follows suit and now everything is blurry. She wants to say something but she can only vaguely feel her mouth move. She's losing consciousness but she holds on to the last few strands as she tries to finish-

When Toko wakes up, she is on her desk with a fountain pen in hand. She must have fallen asleep while writing again. She feels odd for some reason. There's a nagging feeling in the back of her head that's telling her that she's forgetting something but it's only faint. It's the same feeling she gets whenever she's chasing a dream that she can't remember. But just like always, she easily lets go of the feeling. She spends enough time in her head for her stories, she doesn't need the unorganized non-existent plot of her dreams. They're all useless and incomprehensible anyways.

The feeling lingers but she doesn't.

She makes her way to get up and do her usual routine but something is off about her papers. There's a sheet that's separated and she can tell that the ink hasn't dried yet. She immediately picks this up and scans it. The penmanship is horrible, much worse so than hers, but that isn't her main concern right now. The most striking thing about it is the content.

 _Woke up like beautiful unlike you! No wonder I woke up first, you need the beauty sleep more than me! That was horrible girl talk by the way. Gotta do better than that next time. Maybe talk about something more interesting like hotties. What better topic than a hot topic? And what hotter topic is there than hot guys? Try not to bore me on our next chat whenever the hell that happens. See ya later, Totoko!_

"Tch. She just does whatever she wants." There's a scowl on Toko's lips as she says this. She crumples the paper and promptly throws it away. She doesn't even write Syo a reply.

Toko Fukawa does not like Syo at all and she'll make sure she tells her that in person.

~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~

 **Shinra-ex-SOLDIER**

~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~

* * *

A prize fic for **browniebrittle** who won in my tumblr guessing game.

I really love Toko and Syo (you can't make me call her Jack/Jill) and I never really wrote anything proper for them until now. This was really fun to write and it just flowed freely. Thanks for the wonderful request!


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